To see change in your life, you have to change. Now, some of you might argue, “No, it’s my circumstances that have to change“, and while you are right, there are some things that we cannot change. For example (but not limited to): A manipulative lover, underpaying job, born into an underprivileged family.
So, what is it about ourselves that we have to change and how does this relate to the external forces affecting our lives?
Instead of changing the problem, change your approach to the problem. It’s not up to you that your manipulative lover doesn’t want to change. You have a big heart for doing everything you can to make him/her see the light, but they are showing you their truest values. You’re showing true initiative and dedication by trying to work up the ladder in your career, but some workplaces won’t see the value of your work or reflect that back to you. It’s not your fault you’re born into an underprivileged family and it most certainly isn’t your destiny either.
You are trying so hard to get the external factors to adjust to you but what if they’re never meant to?
For the cheating lovers: You tried everything. You prayed, sent him/her Reiki, asked God to make him/her change his/her ways. Even did legal action and brought it to court all to salvage what was already broken.
What if you had to change by choosing to let go of this person and stop hurting yourself instead?
For the underwhelming careers: Nothing is making it better and you are not getting any incentives and recognition for your hard work. Instead staying trapped and doomed by this system, how about start planning your exit out? Attending networking events, job fairs, or online seminars.
For the underprivileged circumstances: There are too many reasons to list why you are born into poverty. (I could list geopolitical factors but that’s not the scope of this article) The bottom-line is: you don’t have to feed into this cycle. You don’t have to continue the legacy of poverty. It will definitely take work and you may be the first effort in an ancestry of repetition but as long as you have the capacity to think for yourself, you can turn things around. You can start reading up about budgeting, investing–you are lucky enough to live in an era where most resources are readily available, affordable and free.
We try to change the external factors because we don’t want to change the internal factors that insist we have no other choice. The internal factors such as doubt, fear, worry, and anxiety are manifestations of core beliefs that stem from our developmental years (not limited to just childhood). Here are samples of core beliefs:
- I can’t be rich. I’m not made for that life.
- I’m always alone. If she/he’s gone, I’ll have no one.
- You can’t get money from your passions. That’s cheating.
These core beliefs are the keys to the life you believe you deserve. If you are able to reprogram your core beliefs, you will almost always choose to be accountable, proactive, and relentless in your pursuit of your dream life. Staying in the situation is showing you what you truly believe you deserve. This is not often so clear. It almost always subtle and discreet.
But your actions shout louder than words. What are you doing now as a result of what you are believing?
Comment below and let’s work on it together.
Therese Castro, Life Coach and Founder of Angel Inspirations